Monday 20 July 2009

Mengenang Kembali Peristiwa Israk Mikraj


Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

Bulan Rejab kian hampir melabuhkan tirainya. Maka semakin terasa dekatnya pertemuan dengan bulan mulia lagi penuh rahmat, iaitu Ramadan al-mubarak. Namun, di penghujung Rejab yang mulia ini, kita terpanggil untuk merenung sejenak peristiwa yang besar dan bermakna bagi seluruh umat. Peristiwa yang dimaksudkan itu ialah peristiwa Israk Mikraj yang menakjubkan, yang berlaku pada malam 27 Rejab, tahun ke-11 daripada kerasulan Nabi Muhammad SAW.

Israk dan Mikraj adalah dua peristiwa yang amat besar dan luar biasa yang dialami oleh Nabi Muhammad SAW dan dianggap sebagai satu penganugerahan yang tinggi nilainya dari segi kerohanian. Kedua-dua peristiwa itu adalah kurnia Allah SWT kepada baginda untuk memperlihatkan tanda keagungan dan kekuasaan-Nya.

Sungguhpun peristiwa luar biasa yang terjadi setahun sebelum Nabi Muhammad SAW berhijrah ke Madinah itu mustahil dapat dijangkau oleh alam pemikiran manusia, namun kita selaku umat Islam wajib percaya dan menyakini bahawa Israk Mikraj yang ditempuhi serta dialami oleh Nabi Muhammad SAW adalah benar dan berlaku dengan roh dan jasadnya sekali. Segala-galanya boleh berlaku dengan kehendak dan kekuasaan Allah selaku Pencipta dan Pentadbir alam semesta.

Israk bererti perjalanan Nabi SAW dari Masjidilharam di Mekah ke Masjidil Aqsa di Baitul Maqdis di Palestin. Peristiwa ini terakam di dalam Al-Quran, sepertimana firman Allah yang bermaksud :

“Maha Suci Allah yang telah menjalankan hamba-Nya (Muhammad) pada malam hari dari Masjidil-Haraam (di Mekah) ke Masjidil-Aqsa (di Palestin), yang Kami berkati sekelilingnya, untuk memperlihatkan kepadanya tanda-tanda (kekuasaan dan kebesaran) Kami. Sesungguhnya Allah jualah yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui.”

(Q.S. Al-Israa’: 1).

Sementara itu, Mikraj pula merujuk kepada perjalanan baginda SAW dari Masjidil Aqsa ke Sidratulmuntaha di langit ketujuh, dekat singgahsana Allah SWT sepertimana yang digambarkan oleh Al-Quran yang bermaksud:

“Dan demi sesungguhnya! (Nabi Muhammad) telah melihat (malaikat Jibril dalam bentuk rupanya yang asal) sekali lagi di sisi “Sidratul-Muntaha”; yang di sisinya terletak syurga “Jannatul-Makwa”. (Nabi Muhammad melihat Jibril dalam bentuk rupanya yang asal pada kali ini ialah) semasa “Sidratul-Muntaha” itu diliputi oleh makhluk-makhluk dari alam-alam ghaib, yang tidak terhingga. Penglihatan (Nabi Muhammad) tidak berkisar daripada menyaksikan dengan tepat (akan pemandangan yang indah di situ yang diizinkan melihatnya), dan tidak pula melampaui batas. Demi sesungguhnya ia telah melihat sebahagian dari sebesar-besar tanda-tanda (yang membuktikan luasnya pemerintahan dan kekuasaan) Tuhan-Nya.”

(Q.S. An-Najm: 13-18).

Oleh itu, Israk Mikraj dapat disimpulkan sebagai satu perjalanan kilat Nabi Muhammad pada malam hari atas kudrat dan iradat Allah dari Masjidil Haram ke Masjidil Aqsa, kemudian naik ke langit sampai ke Sidratul Muntaha, bahkan ke Mustawa dan sampai di bawah Arasy Allah (suatu tempat di mana alam ini diatur) dengan menembusi tujuh lapis langit, lalu kembali semula ke Makkah pada malam yang sama.

Salah satu inti penting daripada peristiwa Israk dan Mikraj ialah perintah solat yang diterima Nabi SAW di Sidratulmuntaha. Pada mulanya Allah SWT memberi perintah supaya mengerjakan solat (sembahyang) 50 waktu sehari semalam. Tatkala bertemu dengan Nabi Musa Alaihi Salam di langit keenam, Muhammad SAW menceritakan perintah yang diterimanya daripada Allah. Lalu Nabi Musa menyarankan agar baginda kembali menghadap Allah SWT untuk memohon keringanan, dengan alasan bahawa umatnya tidak akan sanggup melaksanakan solat 50 waktu itu. Disebabkan terlalu sayangkan umatnya, Nabi SAW menerima saranan itu. Ia pun kembali menghadap untuk memohon keringanan. Permohonan itu berulang sampai 9 kali hinggalah Allah SWT mengabulkannya dengan mengurangi waktu solat menjadi hanya 5 kali sehari semalam.

Adapun waktu-waktu solat yang telah ditentukan itu ialah Subuh, Zohor, Asar, Maghrib dan Isya. Waktu mengerjakan solat berkenaan diterangkan dengan jelas di dalam Al-Quran, sepertimana firman Allah yang bermaksud :

“Dan dirikanlah sembahyang itu pada kedua tepi siang (pagi dan petang) dan pada bahagian permulaan daripada malam. Sesungguhnya perbuatan yang baik itu menghapuskan (dosa) perbuatan-perbuatan yang buruk. Itulah peringatan-peringatan bagi orang-orang yang ingat.” (Q.S. Hud: 114).

Bulan Rejab tahun ke-11 dari kerasulan baginda SAW, disifatkan oleh ahli sejarah sebagai ‘Amulhuzn’ (tahun dukacita) bagi Rasulullah. Ini berikutan dengan dua musibah berturut-turut yang menimpa baginda, iaitu kehilangan dua insan tersayang berikutan kewafatan Khadijah, isteri baginda yang tercinta, yang kemudian disusuli pula dengan pemergian bapa saudara baginda, Abu Thalib, yang banyak melindunginya daripada ancaman kaum kuffar Quraisy.

Musibah yang menimpa itu berpengaruh besar terhadap diri Rasulullah. Lantas Nabi merasakan ruang untuk pergerakan dakwah di kota Makkah semakin sempit dan keselamatan diri turut terancam. Keadaan yang sedemikian mendorong Rasulullah untuk berpindah ke Thaif dengan harapan agar penduduknya menerima seruan dan bersedia membantu perjuangannya. Malangnya, segala harapan baginda hancur berkecai kerana penduduk Thaif bukan saja tidak mahu memberi perlindungan kepada Nabi, malah Nabi dicaci, dihina hatta dianiaya.

Lalu, Rasulullah kembali semula ke Makkah dengan perasaan hampa tanpa hasil. Dan dalam hal keadaan menanggung kesedihan dan kehampaan, Allah menganugerahkan Israk Mikraj, yang antara lain bertujuan menghibur dan mempertebal iman Nabi SAW.

Berdasarkan kepada peristiwa Israk Mikraj, kita memperolehi pelbagai pengajaran berharga yang terkandung di dalamnya untuk direnungi serta dihayati. Antara pengajaran berguna tersebut ialah:

1. Manusia harus sentiasa mengadakan hubungan dengan Allah, baik di kala ditimpa kesusahan mahupun di kala mendapat kesenangan. Ini kerana hanya Allah yang berkuasa memberikan pertolongan, menghilangkan segala kesedihan, dukacita dan kesusahan pada diri manusia. Sebagaimana yang diceritakan, Nabi telah ditimpa beberapa musibah sebelum terjadi Israk Mikraj. Dalam keadaan demikian, datang perintah untuk Israk Mikraj, iaitu untuk berhadapan dengan Allah swt. Ini memberi pengajaran kepada kita agar mendekatkan diri kepada Allah sewaktu didatangi musibah dan pelbagai permasalahan dalam kehidupan. Caranya ialah dengan melaksanakan semua perintah-Nya dan menjauhi semua larangan-Nya di samping terus meningkatkan ketakwaan dan amal ibadat.

2. Menjauhi perkara mungkar dan maksiat. Semasa Israk Mikraj, tepatnya sewaktu Nabi diajak meninjau keadaan neraka, baginda ditunjukkan berbagai bentuk penyeksaan dahsyat yang sedang dialami oleh berbagai kaum sebagai akibat daripada segala macam bentuk kejahatan yang pernah mereka lakukan. Misalnya Nabi diperlihatkan kepada satu kaum yang memecahkan sendiri kepala mereka dengan batu besar, setelah pecah ia kembali bertaut seperti sediakala. Nabi juga melihat bentuk penyeksaan yang lain seperti seksaan bagi pemakan riba, penzina, pengumpat, yang suka memfitnah dan lain-lain lagi. Ini semua memberi iktibar supaya kita yang hidup di dunia ini tidak melakukan segala perbuatan tercela itu dan juga pekerjaan lain yang jelas dilarang Allah kerana begitulah seksaan yang bakal diterima oleh seseorang di akhirat nanti sekiranya perbuatan yang dilarang Allah itu dilakukan.

3. Perintah solat sebagai suatu bentuk ibadah yang Allah sendiri menggariskan ketentuan mengenainya. Kewajipan solat berbeza dengan kewajipan yang lain seperti puasa, zakat dan haji. Ini adalah kerana kewajipan solat diterima langsung oleh Nabi daripada Allah sewaktu bertemu Allah pada malam Mikraj tanpa perantaraan malaikat Jibrail. Ini menunjukkan keistimewaan dan kelebihan solat berbanding ibadah-ibadah lain, dan solat juga amalan yang paling awal dihisab di akhirat kelak. Dengan solat, kita berpeluang untuk berdialog langsung dengan Allah, iaitu ketika bersolat.

4. Mengakui dan tunduk kepada kebesaran Allah sebagai pencipta agar keyakinan terhadap kekuasaan-Nya benar-benar bersemi di jiwa manusia. Ini kerana sewaktu Israk Mikraj, Allah memperlihatkan kepada Nabi akan keagungan dan berbagai keajaiban ciptaan-Nya yang terdapat di alam tinggi bernama langit itu seperti Sidratul Muntaha, syurga dan lain-lain lagi.

5. Anjuran memberi salam. Di sepanjang perjalanan Mikraj, Nabi tidak pernah lupa mengucapkan salam kepada rasul yang baginda temui. Ini mengingatkan kita kepada keutamaan memberi salam dan galakan supaya selalu memberi salam kepada saudara sesama Islam sebagai tanda penghormatan dan untuk mengeratkan hubungan.

6. Mengingatkan usia dunia yang sudah tua yang mana dibayangkan melalui pertemuan Nabi dengan seorang nenek tua. Ia memberi gambaran kepada kita yang umur dunia sudah lanjut dan hampir berlaku kiamat. Hakikat ini memperingatkan setiap Muslim bahawa segala kemewahan dan kesenangan dunia hanyalah bersifat sementara. Hanya ketakwaan dan amal salih menjadi bekalan untuk ke akhirat.

7. Berwaspada dengan rayuan dan tipu daya iblis, di mana sewaktu Israk, pada awal perjalanan lagi jin ‘Afrit telah mengejar baginda dengan membawa obor untuk menghalang perjalanan Nabi dan berusaha memperdayakan baginda. Peristiwa ini memperingatkan kita bahawa syaitan dan iblis tidak akan jemu-jemu untuk menyesat dan memperdayakan umat manusia dengan pelbagai cara.

Israk Mikraj merupakan mukjizat yang tidak diberikan kepada nabi-nabi yang lain. Justeru itu, Pelbagai pengajaran berharga yang terkandung di dalamnya hendaklah direnung dan dihayati supaya ianya dapat membantu memberikan nilai tambah dalam kehidupan, baik dalam usaha meningkatkan ketakwaan dan prestasi ibadah kepada Allah mahupun untuk peningkatan ilmu pengetahuan, terutama dalam menghadapi cabaran globalisasi masa kini. Firman Allah yang bermaksud :

“Dan tidaklah Kami mengutus rasul-rasul sebelummu (wahai Muhammad), selain dari kalangan orang lelaki yang Kami wahikan kepada mereka. Oleh itu bertanyalah kamu kepada orang yang berpengatahuan agama jika kamu tidak mengetahui.”

(Q.S. An-Nahl: 43).

Sumber : http://www.sabah.gov.my/jheains/Peristiwa%20Isra%20Mikraj.htm


Moga kita dapat mengambil iktibar darinya, Insyaallah..

Today is Bank Holiday!!

What are 'bank' holidays?

British bank holidays are Public Holidays and have been recognized since 1871. The name Bank Holiday comes from the time when banks were shut and so no trading could take place.

The 1971 Act - four holidays

The 1871 Act designated four holidays in England, Wales and Ireland (then wholly part of the UK), and five in Scotland.

England, Wales and Northern Ireland

  • Easter Monday,
  • The first Monday in August (later changed to the last Monday),
  • Boxing Day (26th December),
  • Whit Monday

Scotland

  • New Year's Day
  • Good Friday
  • The first Monday in May
  • The first Monday in August
  • Christmas Day

Bank holidays Today

There is currently a total of 8 permanent bank and public holidays in England, Wales and Scotland and 10 in Northern Ireland. These include Christmas Day and Good Friday, which in England, Wales and Northern Ireland are common law' holidays (they are not specified by law as bank holidays but have become customary holidays because of common observance).

Follow this link to see a list of bank holidays today in each country in the UK

1903
St Patrick's Day (17 March) became a bank holiday for Ireland only.

1971
Whit Monday in England, Wales and Northern Ireland (which could fall anywhere between 11 May and 14 June) was formally replaced by a fixed spring holiday on the last Monday in May. The last Monday in August was formally made a bank holiday in place of the first Monday in August in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

1973
2 January became an additional bank holiday in Scotland

1974
New Year's Day became an additional bank holiday in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and Boxing Day became an additional bank holiday in Scotland.

1978
The first Monday in May in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and the last Monday in May in Scotland, became additional bank holidays.


Are shops open on bank holidays?

Even though banks are still closed on these days many shops today now remain open. Shops, museums and other public attractions, such as historic houses and sports centres, may close on certain public holidays, particularly Christmas Day.

Traditionally many businesses close on Bank Holidays to enable the workers to have a holiday. This time is often spent with the family on mini breaks and outings. Because of this, anyone who works on Bank Holidays usually gets paid extra - "time-and-a-half" or even "double time," negotiated for them by the Trades Unions.

See shops opening times on a bank holiday

Do workers automatically get a day off on Bank Holidays?

Workers do not have a statutory right to paid leave on bank and public holidays. If paid leave is given on a bank or public holiday, this may count towards the statutory requirement for 24 days holiday.

Bank Holidays in Scotland

Scotland has nine public holidays:

  • New Year's Day (or in lieu of 1 Jan, if a Saturday or Sunday)
  • 2 January (or in lieu of 2 Jan, if a Saturday or Sunday)
  • Good Friday
  • Early May Bank Holiday - May Day (not necessarily 1 May),
  • Spring Holiday at the end of May
  • Late Summer Holiday at the beginning of August
  • St Andrew's Day* (or in lieu of 30 Nov, if a Saturday or Sunday)
  • Boxing Day (or in lieu of 26 Dec, if a Sunday)

*In January 2007, the St Andrew's Day Bank Holiday (Scotland) Act was given royal assent, making 30 November (or the nearest Monday if a weekend) a bank holiday in Scotland.

More info : http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/bankholidays.html

Thursday 16 July 2009

A very touching story

I received an email from a fren and would love to share this story with all my frens. Please read till end. A very touching story. It definite makes me a lot wiser.

This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals, who take life for granted. Please read this story until the end, it is such an opener. You never Know.........!


Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said "Lets go fetch mother."

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example, I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment ''I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat
flowers!"

I smiled and said "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."

Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled "Mum, this is a city-people's habit, slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything.

But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.

Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a
thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example, she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags. She would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him "What did I do wrong?"

Hubby stared at me and said "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"

He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"

I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day. Mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived, I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."

The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me. He has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.

At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence, he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.

Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the the ears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her... I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....

In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother. Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him.

And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.

I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home. He had chosen to use that as away to indicate to me. Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him. The initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.

I lived alone. I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them no. will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said "You wait a while, I will sign."

He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eye! just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating
to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..."

My eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy.

I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"

Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."

He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me.

I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional. For him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.

At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick. Last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind. In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in. His warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite! My contraction pain.

Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying ''Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home,I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....''

''Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."

He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face....

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."........

This is a true story.

LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience.... This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge. People please let's live a life devoid of grudge.

Communication is key.

Take greatest care and live on.

Tuesday 14 July 2009

Cucu Md Saleh ('',)




Alahai.. nampaknya bertambah seorang lagi penggemar smoked salmon di rumah ini. Mamanya minta maaf, tolong buatkan bolehlah. Snek mudah untuk makan petang abah dan Syahmi. Hmmmm cucu Muhamad Saleh..

Biscuits, Cheese N Smoked Salmon

Bahan :
6 keping Cheddar Cheese Biscuits
Hirisan Cheddar Cheese secukupnya
Smoked Salmon secukupnya

Cara :
Susun hirisan cheese dan smoked salmon di atas biskut dan aturkan di pinggan. Sedia untuk dimakan. Jemput makan semua..

Permata Hati

Abang dan adik

Tadaaaaa... mencuri peluang sementara sikecil lena diulit mimpi. Sedar tak sedar sudah menjengah empat tahun usia perkahwinan kami dan diserikan lagi oleh kehadiran permata hati dengan telatah yang mencuit hati. Siabang Ahmad Syahmi sudah berusia 3 tahun 6 bulan dan bakal ke tadika pada 31hb Ogos ini. Pandai bergurau dan mencuri tumpuan tatkala siadik meraih perhatian. Pantas menegur dan memlindungi kiranya siadik di'marah' tanpa dia menyedari mama dan abah sekadar ingin mencuit dan melihat reaksinya.

Ahmad Syahmi in action!

Melewati usia 20 minggu, Ahmad Ridhwan kian galak bergurau, ketawa, berbual malahan meminta diberi perhatian! Sicomel ini telah pun pandai meniarap dan terbalik, sedang berusaha untuk belajar menjalar pula. Chaiyok! Chaiyok!

Ahmad Ridhwan in action!

Semoga kalian menjadi anak-anak yang soleh sekaligus khalifah Allah yang memakmurkan bumi dengan penuh amanah dan bertanggungjawab.